That was close, yet so far

I could barely sleep last night, and throughout the morning lecture, I was just passing time waiting for a call. I have been waiting for this call for a week. This wait has made me sleep more, watch random youtube videos, and just be unproductive. In fact, I haven’t been so idle in a long time than I have been waiting for this call. From the last few weeks, I used to sleep only after checking email and used to check my email as soon as I wake up.

Getting near, yet not achieving it is a unique feeling. It’s one of those feelings that are extremely tough to unravel and almost impossible to convey. For everyone else, it might just be a typical story behind a failure, but for you it’s different. It’s a source of hope twisted inside a bag of bittersweet sadness.

Generally, when you are recruiting an email with “Thank you” from recruiters signals rejection, and phone call signals something positive. I had Google second-round interview for Product Manager Intern role last week, and I was constantly checking my email and phone all the time. I have been always good in cases and unsurprisingly, I did well in the esoteric cases asked by Google in round 1 interviews. My interviewer told me that I would hear back soon, and within a few hours, I received a second-round invite. However, the wait for the results of the second round interview was unbearable.

Then came the phone call

After the class today, when I came to the reading room I checked my phone again. There was a missed call from a California number. I had a raised heartbeat, but as I have an offer from Cisco, I wasn’t sure whether it’s from Cisco checking about my decision or Google. I quickly called back.

Me: Hi, This is Ajitesh. I received a call from this number.

The lady on the other: Hey, This is Google office. I am Jesi (name changed), and I called to speak with you for a minute. Is it still a good time?

Me: (I haven’t had breakfast today, and I badly need coffee, but…) Yes, it is. How are you doing today?

Jesi: I am good. Unfortunately, I don’t have good news. Although it was a hard decision, we would not be able to offer you the role. However, I encourage you to apply again.

Me: (super sad) Thank for taking the time out to call me. Really appreciate. Have a good day!

I was feeling pathetic, and I spoke to my girlfriend, who told me it’s not the end of the world, and the Cisco product manager role is also exciting.

I knew it’s wasn’t going to be easy, and I knew I am may not be the deserving candidate, but the rejection hurt me more than any other rejection. It was a different kind of pain. One that doesn’t make you cry but makes you unsettled. I don't know how much time I spent sitting at stairs figuring what could have gone wrong. And once you start traversing that road, there is no coming back. Soon, I was able to spot multiple instances where I didn't give the best answer.

My plan was to sleep all day and then crib about the random second-round interview, but then I decided to write how I am feeling. I always share when I succeed in something, then why not share when I am feeling pathetic.

The MBA recruitment process is super competitive. In the past, even when I felt bad about the interview, I used to get in, but it has not the case in the MBA. Among the best and brightest at Kellogg, if you don't feel that you excelled, you definitely haven't.

I fared well in both of my phone interviews in the Google first round. Also, in the second round, I did well in the tech round. However, the last round was behavioral, which I dread and for which I wasn’t prepared. In general, I am not good at answering behavioral questions, and it wasn’t any different this time. Before MBA, I worked in an early-stage startup, and my approach was often messy and not at all grand. Sometimes, I don't feel confident talking about my stories, and that’s a big problem.

A string of failures

During this recuitment season, I probably made all sorts of mistakes that I shouldn't have.

I definitely had a weird start. My first interview was with one of the big social network company for a product manager role. In between the interview, the interviewer found that I would require sponsorship in the future, and I could feel she missed filtering me out. The rest of the interview was just a joke, and I would say that was pure laziness on the part of the recruiter to even shortlist me.

In one of my campus interviews, I screwed up terribly. The firm asked us to design and present a new product. While I did a good job of coming up with a well-thought-out product, I never established a good rapport with the interviewer. As I was in the zone when I entered the interview room, I just said “hi”, shook hands, and started connecting my laptop for presentation. No small talk. No big smile. Further, I was vehemently defending my approach. That was a big mistake. I came across as a person who is not warm and is overly defensive, and even I wouldn’t have hired myself after that act.

With Amazon, I would never know what really happened. My interviewer was 30 minutes late, and I had to email the recruiter. Even after joining, his network was bad, and he was frequently getting disconnected. He could barely ask me 2 questions. While I am bad with behavioral interviews, I would never know whether it was me or this hiccup that led to my rejection.

However, with all these mistakes, there were some learnings.

While I suck at behavioral interviews, it definitely works

In the past, I never had a behavioral interview. However, now I do believe that behavioral interview is a good testing format. You definitely get to know the person with the right question and followup, and I plan to use this approach when I would be hiring.

I am now more comfortable with who I am

Early into the interview preparation, I regularly received feedback that I need to bring more enthusiasm and voice modulation. While I tried, I knew it wasn’t me. After some struggle, I figured changing myself isn't worth it. I am a calm person, and I can’t fake excitement for the whole 45 minutes of the interview. There would be some role where I fit and some role where I don’t.

Making peace with my networking style

I guess after question about “how technical it gets”, the second most common question on the campus was about networking. I realized early on that I can’t follow the traditional networking style. In the world of Glassdoor and Reddit, I almost always know about the most aspect of the role, and hence I don’t generally have the urge to ask questions. One thing that helped me was my blogging. At least, I got two shortlist from fintech firms just because I wrote and shared a blog on “Quantum Computing: Is it the end of blockchain?” with recruiters.

It’s good I didn’t get the first one I interviewed

While the hunt was month-long and often painful, going through the grind, I also realized the good part about interviewing. An interview is a great opportunity to meet senior folks. Asking questions and learning about their approach to facing challenges in the role is a big educational experience, which we don’t get even in the best course in MBA.

In the end, I also believe that our career path isn’t linear, and there isn’t one right path. Instead, our career is free-flowing, and we don’t know where will we find our rocket ship (or make one). Every road to rocketship isn’t via Google.

My internship recuitment journey came to an end today with a phone call. I have decided to accept the Product Manager Intern role at Cisco. I am looking forward to my summer in SF with one of the biggest companies in the history of tech. There has never been such an exciting time to be in tech!

There is a lot to learn, and this whole recuitment process just made me realize that I have so much ground to cover, but fortunately, there is some hope. I am more confident about my strengths and more clear about my weaknesses.

For Google, I can just say — it was so close, yet so far!